Read Time: 4 minutes and 30 seconds.
The living room is dark, as you scroll through Netflix, trying to pick a good series to watch.
As you idly thumb your TV remote, you frequently check your phone, waiting for a response.
You’d messaged your friend an hour ago, but she still hasn’t responded.
She’d brought up dinner plans a few days ago, but since then, you haven’t heard a peep.
Your heart sinks as the evening drags on.
Eventually, you give up on a reply, and order pizza for the night.
A strong surge of loneliness overcomes you, as you force yourself to focus on Netflix.
Everyone says they want to catch up, but as usual, everyone ends up being too busy.
Are you surprised by this outcome?
In this edition of The Path Toward Purpose we’re going to explore The Art of Embracing Solitude: A Guide To Help You Unlock Focus and Purpose, so that you can deal with feeling lonely and use it to make strides forward in life.
Let’s get into it.
The Foundations of Loneliness
Humans are social creatures.
From ancient times, we’ve always placed great value upon companionship and family bonds.
Yet, as the Modern Era has taken over, we’ve slowly found ourselves placing greater importance on other things.
Technology has replaced people.
Social media has replaced meaningful relationships.
It’s left us in the lurch, yearning for meaningful connections, yet unable to find them consistently.
The Mental Framework
Neurologically, the human brain is stimulated by social interaction.
Before the onset of Netflix, Social Media, or iPhones, the only real neural stimulation we had, were other people.
Conversation bred ideas, concepts and technological advancement.
Collaboration is the foundation of the Modern World we exist in today.
Now however, we’ve replaced these timeless experiences with empty interactions.
Fuelled by dopamine, we chase the next high, rather than seeking a meaningful existence.
The disconnect is profound, and forms the struggle with loneliness many of us feel.
How-To Apply This
Loneliness can be crippling, only if you let it undermine what you desire from life.
If you live for other people to fill your void, then you’ll never ascend towards meaningful goals.
It will be an endless rat race, designed to keep you stuck within low level emotions.
Don’t let this become your world.
Instead, choose to embrace solitude to create something meaningful from your life.
Here’s how you can do it.
Step 1. The Understanding of The Self
Credit: Dan Koe
Who you are at the core, is not how the world sees you.
The world will see you in a lens that suits the observer, as humans are always inclined to be biased.
The purpose of solitude is to learn more about yourself.
Who you really are.
Until you’re able to cut through the layers that the world imposes upon you.
You’ll always be stuck playing catch up.
Trying to be the person that everyone else expects of you.
And in return, sabotaging your own dreams, ambitions and goals.
Take some time out of your busy life, and learn to be alone in private.
Dive deep into your mind and extract a greater understanding of who you are as a person.
If you like, you can use the diagram I provided above.
It’s a great entry point towards deciphering your inner and outer world.
Step 2. Define Your Vision
It’s only possible to embrace solitude, if you have something to work towards.
Now, for introverted people, this talent comes naturally, as their inner world dominates their outer world.
However, for extroverted people, such as myself, or maybe even yourself, it’s a challenge.
Extroverts yearn for companionship and consistent relationships.
The Modern World glorifies the extrovert, yet in reality, introversion is a true skill required to make significant progress in life.
However, when you have a powerful goal or vision on the horizon to work towards, it becomes easier to channel your focus.
You won’t fear or despise solitude.
Instead, you’ll seek it, as it helps you achieve milestones as you progress towards your vision.
Oh, and if you don’t know how to create a vision for your life?
You can download my eBook for free which will show you how → The Visionary
Step 3. Differentiate Being Alone and Feeling Lonely
There’s a big difference between the two.
You could go to a party, be surrounded by people and still feel alone.
And similarly, you could be slumped on the couch, consuming Netflix and feeling isolated.
The distinction lies within your mindset.
When you have something for yourself to focus your time, energy and resources.
Negative emotions will disperse from your life and you’ll be filled with purpose.
Having something to strive for is the antidote to all negativity.
When you learn to embrace solitude, you’ll realize that feeling alone is a choice.
You can always switch it up, whenever you like.
🚀 Next Steps
Even though focused solitude is a superpower, I’m not suggesting you should retreat from the world and live under a rock.
That’s not realistic, as the world is always changing - you need to keep up.
However, when you can balance solitude, with engagement in the world.
You’ll be able to discard those emotions of loneliness.
Even if there’s no one available, you still have yourself.
You’ve got your goals, vision, dreams and most importantly work to be done to improve your life.
Embrace solitude, but don’t let it overwhelm you and become a recluse.
The world is not forgiving to those that aren’t in check with reality.